My heart has been so heavy lately. The Lord has been blessing just as He always does, but I have been so focused on my own desires and so full of pride that the smallest things have discouraged me. I have wanted to blame it all on the pregnancy, but the Lord has shown me how wretched my heart has become.
During the song service at Church last night the Lord spoke to me so clearly. I can't do what Christ has called me to do except by fully relying on HIM. So many times, I have thought that there was no way I would make it on the mission field. I have felt so insufficient and honestly I have despised the idea of leaving my family. But last night, as we sang "Because He Lives" I just cried and cried as I realized how and why I WILL live out the Lord's will for my life by HIs grace.
This morning I had one of the best times I have had with the Lord in a long time. I read in 2 Corinthians and cried and prayed for His forgiveness and His help and strength. I pray to become closer to Him with more of a love for Him and for souls. I pray to be a help to my husband, and to make the ministry more personal and to become even more involved. There's so much I can do to help him. My desire is to be the Christian the Lord expects me to be, and the wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, witness, etc. that the world needs me to be. I pray for the qualities given in 2 Corinthians 6:3-10.
No comments:
Post a Comment